The Great Debates

Five weeks from E-day and the first debate is about to air. On to the debate as “event!” Even as theater.

Flop sweat. Stage fright. Preparation and acting skills will be the crucial ingredients. Ironic that reason should give way to the dramatic arts at this awful crossroads in History. Just as WMDs, most specifically, nuclear bombs, warheads and artillery shells are “trickling down,” like tax cuts, from strategic war to terrorism in daily life.

Thursday, then, the big show will begin. Each debate an act. Best let the TV critics review the first contest between those two who would rule the world. Not to trivialize “policy,” but rather to acknowledge that these respective media campaigns are extended job applications to be “President,” like competing on “the Apprentice.” You run the campaign, like you tackle any problem. It’s a metaphor for how you would run the Presidency, itself.

And run is the operative word. Today, debates that once went on for hours, now have been reduced to one-liners. Call it a massive productivity gain (although I fail to see what exactly has been gained by all this speediness). Like decisions in general in the world today, and in the Oval Office, itself, each of us, at our appointed station in life has moments, not hours, to analyze and make life-altering choices.

And it is how we decide, fellow viewer/citizens! In a moment, just like we were picking our breakfast cereal! Here, then, a few “reviewer” notes about the two stars of the show so far:

The President is channeling Reagan, of course. He embodies the John-Wayne-cowboy so popular with American TV viewers. And viewers are the voters now.

Dark Horse and fellow Skull n’ Bonesian, the Senator, is at this moment playing it a bit bigger, more Broadway. Not the musicals, Theatre…Unfortunately, this approach is not translating as well to the small screen. A bit arch, too Sir Larry Olivier and not enough half-naked contestants dunking for maggots, like you find on all the channels these days.

Styles make fights, they say. Make debates, too. Just imagine Laurence Olivier winning over a modern American audience up against John Wayne. Larry is just too old school, too big, too long-winded, frankly. Shakespeare is dead. Long live advertising slogans and slang.

No, Kerry has to ditch the Olivier and channel the only actor I can think of who could possibly stand up to Bush channeling Reagan. That’s right. I’m talking about another great, a man who made hardball long-odds politics come alive as Mr. Deeds, Jimmy Stewart.

He could populist like no one’s business. And if Bush represents the ownership society, which is just fine, somebody has to, then Kerry must be the unlikely representative of the non-owners. The borrower, the renter and the worker society. Not at the expense of owners, but it has to be equitable for those without much capital, too. They need a chance to get along. After all, everyone needs to wet his (or her) beak.

Kerry can stutter and come from New England, that’s very um-shucks (vs. the Texan aw-shucks) Stewart. Just keep the speech short, like the damned Gettysburg address, only just one sentence, OK?

Today that’s “the message.” One sentence. Kerry has to be able to tell his answer to anything in ONE sentence. How are you different from Bush on Iraq? On health care? On taxes? (Wanna bet on how many one sentence answers Kerry coughs up Thursday?)

The key moment will come, of course, when each candidate is asked about Iraq. Bush, with a laconic texas drawl will basically lay out his all-Texan, gun the varmints down until it's a quiet peacable little cow town strategy: punish them until the Iraqis cry uncle and become a secular democracy. Personally I am less than optimistic about this approach (although I certainly hope it works!). And Kerry? He says what? In one sentence, please. That, fellow followers of the thespian arts, is the question.

If he doesn't come up with a clean, one-sentence answer, he's failed. Just as surely as whoever becomes President in November will have failed if we are still in Iraq four years from now.
¶ 1:38 AM